Phentermine, you ARE my friend!

02/12/2013

I recently un-cancelled my gym membership to THE PLATINUM CENTER here in Tulsa (I cancelled it last month thinking I would buy a treadmill for my home…ha! FORGET THAT!! ….Platinum Center is AMAZING!!) and got rid of all the JUNK in my house.

I did a lot of research and started asking around for supplements (some work, some don’t, some only for certain people—it’s a risk!) but ultimately ended up taking my roommates advice, skipped the OTC supplements, and went to THE CALORIE COUNTER in Owasso for doctor prescribed PHENTERMINE — a weight loss pill thats FDA approved and basically GUARANTEED to work with a 1200 calorie diet (or less), lots of water, and (of course) exercise.

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My first doctors appointment was on January 22 and was $60 — I got a $10 discount for the referral (thanks roomie!!) The phen prescription will be $50/month now. BOO IM CHEAP!! I guess if I keep referring my friends it will be $40/month—as every referral gets ME and THEM $10 off! BALLIN for saving $$$!

I think the phen is working INCREDIBLY well!! It is literally the FIRST time in my life that I haven’t been HUNGRY during the day! …No seriously this is insane… FIRST TIME EVERRR!!! It also gives me a SEEEEERIOUS boost of energy that gets me through the morning, lunch, afternoon, workout, and evening. Did I mention that it is incredible?!I’ve taken other “over the counter” diet pills, shakes, meal replacements, and other stuff before —- but phen seems to be a good fit for me, at least for now.

I’ve been using phen for a month and just recently went back for the required blood tests and to get my refill. The blood test was for 3 vials of blood — apparently they test blood cell count, thyroid levels, and a few other things. It serves to make sure that my body is healthy while taking the pills and that phen isn’t hurting my body, so thats good! It wasn’t bad at all! Plus I would rather know the pills aren’t really affecting me in an unhealthy way. The pills ARE FDA approved, but I don’t think anyone can ever really be too careful…

Aside from phen, I also track my food! I use the app MYFITNESSPAL to track EVERY SINGLE CALORIE that goes in my mouth. Follow me if you want: paulablalock is my username.

I do cardio only right now (weights can come later, I guess) about 30/45/60 minutes about 5 or 6 days per week.

I eat lots of raw vegetables, fiber one oat & honey bars, sometimes a BBVi shake, and fresh meals that normally include avocado. YUMMM! I am trying to stay away from processed meals like smart ones this time–trying to eat more fresh foods, whole grains, etc. Also, I rarely drink anymore. I think I’ve had a beer or two and a few glasses of wine since January 6th..

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So far, I’m down 19lbs since Janruary 6, 2013. I am DEFINITELY enjoying this weight loss now! Phen is working incredibly. I’m seriously just cannot believe that it’s I am down 19 pounds!!!
Aaaaaahhh!!!!!!!! I am so proud of myself— and I know this is JUST the beginning. I’m ready, and I’m making the new lifestyle permenant!! 🙂

My size 12 pants are not even fitting more loosly, but they are LITERALLY falling off of me! It is ridiculous!! 🙂 I enjoy not fitting into my clothes…….most days.

I have, however, started struggling with body image issues and fat. I wake up in the morning, and when getting ready for work, I try on 10 different shirts and five pairs of pants or jeans — NOTHING I own fits me anymore. This wouldn’t be a problem, but I have LITERALLY zero clothes that show off my weight loss or even flatter my body, and I have no money to go out and start buying a new wardrobe. No one can tell that i’m losing weighht because i’m still in all the same old fat clothes..
Sometimes I think it would be better to be fat and have my clothes fit, than to be getting skinny and have no clothes that fit – which means that no one can tell that I am even losing weight because all my clothes are so baggy! Ugh, WHATS THE POINT?! Ugh!! How discouraging and frustrating!!!!
I know.. I know… I just need to start saving money, shop sales and resale shops, try to sell my fat clothes, and maybe make myself buy one new outfit per month. I just hate spending money and I hate even more the thought of spending $50 – $100 on a complete new outfit that hopefully won’t fit me in a month… Blah!

I cry some mornings…..and afternoons…. and evenings. I am just SUUUUPER frustrated. I am in-between sizes and i’m broke and blah. Poor me losing weight, right?! …………..I SHOULD BE CELEBRATING!!!! (not crying!!)
I’m really just ready to look good — but right now, it’s just not happening…. despite my weight loss!!! It will come though… I know it!! DEDICATION! MOTIVATION! INSPIRATION!

This is my latest progress photo and known information:

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My measurements—
Waist: ?
Hips: ?
Right arm: ?
Right thigh: ?

Weight: 154
Body fat: ?
BMI: ?

Its crazy how much difference I can feel and see in myself! My tummy feels lighter, less “fatty,” and I have definitely have lost some love handles. I tried on a pair of size 8 jeans at old navy the other day. I’m really, technically, still a size 10, but I could not only squeeze into the size 8s, I could button AND zip them!!! Ahhh!!! Two months ago I was fitting into a size 14 — now I am a 10 and working towards a size 8! I am so happy!! I know I still have a LOOONG way to go — but I I know I can do it!

Here are the size 8 jeans that I “fit” into at old navy:
***pleeeeeaseeee don’t mind my face or outfit, and ESPECIALLY not my icky mushroom tummy I have in these pants….. but just look—size 8 jeans! I don’t care….. Progress….RIGHT!?! HAPPY THOUGHTS!!

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Also, I can tell a significant difference in the size of my thighs. I can even sit double cross-legged now (crossing thighs and calves and ankles)!! My great grandma Ann used to sit like this because she said it was “comfortable” — I never could because my thighs were too big! If you have no clue what I’m talking about…..like this:

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Below is a comparison photo from day 16 VS day 37 (my updated progrss photo and now) ——– and a second photo of Day 1 VS day 37, which is my first progress photo vs today!!!! I feel great—my tummy is muuuuch “flatter,” my hips are MUCH smaller, and my thighs… yeah, you guessed it—SMALLER! =) My bra even fits better—the waist band is almost too large! WAHOOO!
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So its been a good start, BUT…..

01/22/2013

My progress is coming along quite nicely. After some weight loss (7lbs!!), I decided to start taking prescription Phentermine to help curb my appetite in addition to my calorie counting and cardio workout schedule. I got phentermine today — day 16 for me.
This is my mid-diet “before phen” photo and info:

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My measurements—
Waist: ?
Hips: ?
Right arm: ?
Right thigh: ?

Weight: 164
Body fat: 35.6%
BMI: 25.7

Below is a comparison photo from day 1 VS day 16! I can already tell a slight difference in my thigh size, but some noticible weight has been lost in my front tummy and in my love handles! My bra is even fitting better— definitely less riding up!

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All I can stay is… this is a start. It’s MY start. Changes, no matter how small, only serve to motivate me! I know I look like poop! I have looked like poo for years, with my fatty tummy, big thighs, and a new friend some people already know **insert evil music here** CELLULITE! ..gross..

I’m ready to change my life, change my weight, and change my body.

I can’t wait until I can post photos of myself in cute outfits and bathing suits—photos where everything fits me! Summertime is coming soooooo fast, and I want to be BIKINI (or, at least, cute bathing suit) READY!

I’m up for the challenge, and hoping that phentermine really helps out in furthering my weight and fat loss!
….here goes! I’ll definitely keep you updated!!

My new beginning!

I start my journey on January 6, 2013!

It is important for my weight loss journey to not only document with words, but to tell my story with photos. Photos can hold me accountable to my size, as well as provide motivation when losing weight, eating right, or working out gets difficult.

So here it is: My “before” photo.
This was taken October 2012. I was the same size until January 2013, when I started to make some significant changes in my life. I was a size 14 pants squeezing into a size 12. I weighed 171 pounds, and decided it was time to get my butt into gear for 2013–and the rest of my life!

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^^Note in this photo the width of my stomach, sides, and love-handles. I was super thick, and my lower stomach stuck out an inch or two over my abdomen. I was super uncomfortable, my bra and panties barely fit (they’re riding up in this photo…) and they was ZERO gap in my thighs! Ick!

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This is an up-close photo of the one above for comparison of later photos.

My measurements—
Waist: 38″
Hips: 43.5″
Right arm: 14″
Right thigh: 21″

Body fat: 30.4%
BMI: ?

PAULA’S ready to lose some POUNDS!

First blog entry….things are about to get good!
LET’S DO THIS!!!!!

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Losing It: My Sob Story

01/06/2013

Why I decided to start losing it!

I started out as a statistic. My mother got married to my biological father and got pregnant with me in high school. My mom and biological father divorced before I was two years old. When I was two, my mother married for a second time to my dad–He legally adopted me and raised as his own. My parents didn’t go to college, my dad worked at a plant and my mom was a stay at home mom—-talk about small town Oklahoma living, right? I was a low-income, american indian, female, with young, uneducated parents. Like I said…a statistic! This was my momma, my baby brother, my daddy, and me!

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Years went by… we moved into a normal house in a small town, my little brother was born when I was 3, I started school… and life progressed. I was young, active, and skinny. I ate healthy — especially since my school served broccoli, and didn’t mind giving me seconds on my favorite vegetable!

I was a skinny, healthy, little girl. Running, playing, climbing trees, riding bicycles, playing at the park—normal kid stuff.

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When I was 8 my momma and daddy split up. We moved out and my daddy moved to another town. I think this was the start of it all. I was pre-puberty age, my parents split up, we moved out of my hometown, we were broke… so many contributing factors.

The smallest size I remember being was a size 6 — I borrowed my stepmom’s (biological dads wife) jean shorts she used to wear in college to take sister photos with my baby half-sister. I loved them — old denim with daisy iron-ons along the leg openings. Sure, I was chubby, but I was still healthy and somewhat active. Plus, I was about to hit my “growth spurt” …..right?!

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After we moved, my momma met and married another man, Greg. I was not too fond of Greg–as he emotionally and physically abused my mom, my brother, and me. We all (mom, me, brother, and greg) stayed a while near grand lake and then moved to Pryor, OK. Pryor is where I grew up. Pryor Creek, OK, USA is a small town in Northeast Oklahoma with a population of about 10,000 people. I hated that small town. We moved into Indian housing about 10 minutes outside if town just before I started 5th grade. I spent 5th and 6th grade at Pryor Junior High (PJH).

My mom kept fruit and veggies in the house when we asked for them, but we ate a lot more of snacks, sweets, soda, processed foods, and other things that definitely (in my opinion) contributed to my weight gain. Of course, growing up in poverty takes its toll on food choices; we ate poorly for financial reasons. Fresh meats and veggies cost much more than the $1/meal microwaveables and $2 for 10 snack packs.

I moved into PJH to attend 7th through 9th grade at Pryor. I try not to think about this time too much, as it was rough for me. Around 6th and 7th grade I started gaining weight. I didn’t play sports. I remember looking at the scale in the 7th grade — it tipped over 120lbs and wore a size 11 (…and was still getting larger)

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Jr High isn’t the easiest for chubby, nerdy girls. I didn’t have many friends (except a few other girls like me and the lunch lady..ha!) and I wasn’t very active. I was a young, nerdy, poor, chubby, insecure girl at PJH. We couldn’t afford “cool” clothes, and I wasn’t a pryor family (we were outsiders, moving in), and, eventually, I began to pack on even more pounds. I was insecure and began to hide my body. I began to become very aware of how different I was compared to the “cool” girls. I kept my feelings to myself, and tried to hide how unhappy I was with my body. By high school, I weighed more than 170lbs — just see for yourself:

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When I had just started the 11th grade, my daddy passed away unexpectedly (motorcycle accident) on his way to work. I miss him so much. Here is a Halloween photo of him — he was a nurse, so this costume was great for him! Creeeepyyy!

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After my dad passed away, and by the start of my senior year, I weighed my max: 209lbs. Sure, I am 5’7, which helps me carry my weight better than shorter girls, but I was still really large. I wore a size 16/18 in women’s jeans, I was depressed, fat, and very unhealthy and unhappy!
Speaking of trying to cover up my body and of me being awkward—check this out! Yes, what you’re seeing is real! Camo pants–straight from the army surplus! ..whaaaaat was I thiiiiiinking!?

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I sat on my twin bed one day in high school and started crying. I told my mom that I was going to start eating better, get active, and start a “made-up” no carb diet. Basically, I decide to stop eating bread an pasta and carbs in general, but continued to eat “healthy” carbs like corn and vegetables. I can even remember eating hot dog salads because I wanted variety! I also took up walking at least 30 minutes every day after school — I used my time on the phone to talk to out-of-state friends from ESM!! All in all, I lost about 35lbs. I weighed about 175 and was down to a size 14 from a 16/18!
By the end of my senior year, I was ready for a change of school, change of scenery, change of pace, and to start my higher education journey — I was ready for college.

I started college at Rogers State University (RSU) in the fall of 2006. During college I got involved, got super busy, and my weight dropped to 155. Then my weight bounced back up to 190, then back down to 170, then up to 180 or 185. I was like a freaking yo-yo! This lasted from 2006-2010. I didn’t eat right, didn’t eat on any type of schedule, and never lost weight in a good way — I guess my body did it itself, somehow? I still don’t really understand it all. This was a photo of me (at about 185lbs) in September of 2010 at a sorority camp out — THAT was an adventure!

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When I met my current boyfriend in December 2010 (over 2 years ago) I was 192lbs-YUCK! I wanted to start looking good for myself — I was so fat and uncomfortable! My size 14 pants weren’t fitting anymore, but I DIDN’T want to wear a size 16 again! I also didn’t want the guy I was falling in love with to have to deal with a fat, unhealthy girlfriend!

So I decided to change my lifestyle. I stopped eating out (Braums and Taco Bueno are my weakness!!) and I basically stopped eating junk. I started eating 1200 HEALTHY calories a day, and decided to get an expensive gym membership to a 24hour ladies only fitness center, even though I had a free membership to the Claremore Rec. center. I even got up to running 3 miles almost every day. This was a BIG FEAT for me, since I hadn’t ran anything close to a mile since mandatory gym in 6th grade! (…not joking!)

I lost 35lbs in about 6 weeks — I was down to about 155lbs and I loved every minute of it. I went from a (basically) size 16 (I squeezed into those 14s though) to a small size 12! WAHOO! I’m 5’7″ so I’ve always been a little thick, but this was the best my body had EVER looked (everrrrrrr), even with my fatty tummy and thighs. My body was looking and definitely feeling healthier. I felt good. This is a photo of me from Spring 2011 after my weight loss. I won the “buns of steel” award in my sorority for being the most physically active sister — what an accomplishment!

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^^^ Here’s a side by side of me in the fall of 2011 at about 165lbs VS my junior year of high school at about 210 pounds. I don’t even feel like I look like the same person!!

Then “the comfort zone” set in — hello relationship, happiness, and laziness! Again! How!? Ugh, I know how……. I started eating out again, eating that cookie or snack that was just there, and I stopped working out because I was comfortable at my new, smaller size. I became complacent. I went from eating less, losing weight and inches, and being active—— back to my normal, average, lazy self. During the last two years I went back up to 171 pounds — which, for me, was a FULL size 12 (and more likely size 14–all my 12s were too tight, I just wasnt willing to go buy new clothes!)

At the end of the summer last year (2012), I THOUGHT I was “ready” to committ to losing weight. I joined this weight loss community group on facebook where the women would post their stories and their very PERSONAL before/progress/after photos! It was incredible and helped motivate me for about 10 days (haha, loooong time, huh?!) Buuuut, as usual, I QUICKLY fell off that weight loss/motivation bang wagon.

I wasn’t ready. I was COMFORTABLE. I was not healthy or get off the couch an feel good about my body “comfortable” but I wasn’t READY to change yet. I could do everyday activities, my size 12 pants still fit (kind-of?), and it wasnt summer anymore so I could “hide” the fact that I needed to lose weight and get into shape. HIDE, hahaha, YEAH RIGHT!

A few weeks ago (after a LONG and DEEP look into the mirror, into my goals and dreams for myself, and a loooooong talk with my boyfriend about his attraction towards me) I KNEW WITHOUT A DOUBT that I was READY!!! I wasn’t “ready” because other people wanted me to lose weight. I wasn’t “ready” because summer was only 5 months away. And I wasn’t “ready” because its the right thing to do. I MADE UP MY MIND TO CHANGE — PERMANENTLY — MY BODY AND LIFESTYLE!

I didn’t want to be a statistic anymore. I dont want to be the “average size” of a woman in America. There isn’t anything I want to be “average” about myself — not my personality, not my intelligence, and certainly not my body weight/size/shape. I can control it — and now I’m going to change it!

I had been following a few weight loss blogs: Mama Laughlin and Erin Morgan! I thought HEY — If theyyyyyyy can do it, IIIIIIII can do it too!!!!

I was at 171 pounds and was squeezing into a size 12 — HA!! — I was a size 14 in denial!! I NEVER EVER EVER wanted to see this again.

I want to wear a bathing suit (one piece or two, it doesnt matter) an feel sexy. I want to fit into a 10 and eventually an 8 or even a 6!
NOOOOO more excuses! NOOOO more quitting! I AM going to do this, even if it takes me 2 months, 6 months, or a year, or even more!

I’m young, it’s “easy” now (compared to what it will be in 10-20 years. I’m 24 now) and I need healthy eating habits so that whenever it is that I decide to have babies of my own I can teach them what I never really learned growing up:

  1. Only eat when you’re hungry.
  2. You DON’T have to eat everything on your plate.
  3. Eat lots of vegetables, fruit, whole grains, lean meats — not processed microwave dinners, little debbies, baked goods, and soda pop.
  4. Being active is crucial to being a healthy weight — whether you choose running, walking, jogging, calisthenics, sports, bicycling, tennis, swimming, or a bazillion other things!
  5. …and there is lots more, I just can’t think right now….

So… that’s my story!
Now I plan to start LOSING IT!

….here goes!

What will you GAIN when you LOSE!?